Becoming A Wife: Q&A
Updated: Jul 11, 2020
Here goes nothing!
1. Are you nervous?
I am not. I am more excited than anything. Dre and I have been functioning as a married couple for most of our relationship outside being intimate so our lives overall, won’t change very much. We already live together and because we own a fulltime business together our finances are already together. The only piece of the puzzle missing is sex. And for that, I am excited. Not just for the act of it but to be able to say you’re my husband and I give you all me. So no, I’m not nervous to be a wife but I am anxious to see how our relationship will change once sex is added to the equation.
2. How do you know Dre is the 1?
I get this question a lot and it’s pretty simple. I have no doubts. None whats so ever. There is no reason at all why I shouldn’t marry him and no reason at all why I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.
I believe that love is a choice, not just a feeling. I know that every day of my life I will choose to love and be with Dre because that’s the choice I’ve made and am making again by vowing to be his wife, just like he is vowing to me.
He is truly the best friend I’ve ever had. He allows me to be who I am but also challenges me to be my absolute best. He is everything I could ask for and more when it comes to a husband and I know he will be an even better father to our children.
Everything about our relationship makes total sense and that is very rare to find. We can only contribute that to God. By keeping him at the center of our relationship, by waiting for marriage and by building our relationship on a strong foundation we have a wonderful bond that will never be broken. I often wake up and go to sleep asking God why I’m so lucky.
3. Are you sure you’re ready?
Absolutely! One thing waiting for marriage does is prepare you. With sex being out of the picture, you are forced to deal with all your issues and shortcomings. In the 3 years we’ve been together, I have learned so much about myself as an individual as well as a partner. There were sooooo many things I had to work on and I still have things that I will continue to work on throughout our marriage.
Two of the main issues I had was finding peace and dealing with my anger. Dre has been such an amazing support system as I dealt with both issues and continues to be when I have moments of weakness.
I know there’s nothing we can’t get through together so I’m not at all worried and am for sure ready!
4. How many kids do you want?
Ideally, I would like 5 children. How many of these children will actually come out of my body, I do not know lol. I plan on doing foster care and adoption at some point and the number of children will depend on how many children we have of our own. However, I feel so bad having children knowing that there are so many children who are already born without families or people to properly care for them.
Growing up, my mom did foster care and I absolutely loved it. It taught me a lot about being thankful for my family, being kind to others because you never know what someone is going through and being generous because I had to share my mom and our house with random kids who I knew didn’t have a family or home. I think it’s important for children to grow up with those values and I want my children to grow up and want to make a difference, just like I do.
5. How soon will you have babies?
I am really struggling with this because if it were up to me, I would wait as long as I could. Dre, on the other hand, would be happy if we got pregnant a year from the wedding. Here’s my concerns:
I am YOUNG! I’m only 27 years old and even though I know that women start having children much before 27, I still feel like a baby! I feel like I have so much more life to live before bringing a child into this world. I want to be selfish and enjoy my husband and the freedom to travel when we want and do what we want.
I know that having a baby won’t stop me from living my life but it will definitely change the way I live. I also want to have babies back to back so that means traveling would be really rough!
Ideally, I would want to travel and live it up for the next 3-5 years and then start a family in my early 30’s.
6. Do your parents approve?
Absolutely, If my family could marry Dre, they would! They think he is amazing and are all super happy for me. And despite my craziness, Dre’s family approves of me as well. They respect my authenticity and I always keep them laughing :)
7. Are you nervous about your first time having sex with each other?
Yes and no. The thing I’m nervous about is it potentially hurting. He doesn’t have to worry about that but for me, it could be a little uncomfortable at first. I’m trying to erase any expectations from my mind and just let it happen but it’s hard because as yall know, I’m a planner. So I think about things like, where will we be, when will it happen, what will I wear, how long it will last lol. So yes, I do have some overall nerves but I know it will be magical and something I will never forget.
8. What made you choose a destination wedding?
We decided to do a destination wedding for a couple of reasons. 1, we really wanted to give our guests an experience. A lot of our family and friends have never been out of the country and we wanted to be able to share one of our favorite places with them. 2, we didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on 1 day. We wanted to have a full week where we could spend quality time with our loved ones. Because of a lot of our family and friends would be traveling from out of state anyways, destination made a lot of sense. We also don’t have elderly people attending so it made travel a lot easier. Ultimately we felt the investment made more sense being spent on a week-long trip verses 1 wedding day.
9. How will you guys handle your finances once you’re married?
Like I said, we already handle our finances as if we are married because of our unique situation with our business. So right now, We have a business account that each of us share, a savings account and our own personal accounts. All the money goes into our business account and we pay each other from that account into our individual account.
Each month, all of our expenses are paid from our joint account and then we each receive a payout for spending money. We decide on the amount at the end of each month based on how much income we brought in as a business. If 1 of us is traveling that month, we add more money to that person’s account than normal.
We basically have a set budget with the focus on saving money and communicate our needs at the end of each month in order to properly budget for the following month.
10. What does being a wife mean to you?
What a great question! In short, being a wife to me means being your husband’s best friend. Someone he can always count on to have his back and best interest in mind. It means being intentional by spending quality time, showing love in the way your husband receives it best, being patient, supportive and loving no matter what.
I hope yall enjoyed this Q&A, make sure if you have questions to send me a DM @breannaaponte.
Until next time my loves, be shameless!