• Breanna Aponte

How To Deal With Men Who Only Want Sex

Updated: Jul 11

Simply put, men can be dogs. We’ve all dealt with those guys who all they wanted from us was sex. But this isn’t a one-sided issue, we have to take a look in the mirror and hold ourselves accountable where necessary. Now I know this may not be what you want to hear, but I promise it will be game-changing! We will talk about the reasons for men only wanting sex, the signs that that’s all they want, and ways to properly deal with them!


This is such a layered conversation because there are so many things to address.


First I want to make this clear ladies, and you might not like what I’m about to say but it’s true. Men are not the only ones to blame. It takes 2 to tango if you know what I mean. This isn’t just an issue with men, women can be promiscuous too. We also have a huge role to play in it and I’ll break it down a little later. For now, let’s talk about the reasons in which men only want sex. Keep in mind, this is not a bias opinion. I’ve spoken to multiple men including my fiance about this matter and they all said the same thing.


When a man only wants sex it could be for a couple of reasons. They could simply not be ready to settle down and have a serious relationship which is usually the case. They could just be in the moment and take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself, because hey! At the end of the day, they are men. Or they are human and it’s in their nature to lust after women. I mean this isn’t rocket science.

The thing we have to get to is how are we contributing to the issue and what can we do about it.

As women, we really have all the power. So why do we do things and then blame the man like they made us do it? No one makes you do anything. In different seasons of our lives, we move differently but for most of us, we have all went through a little stage of being intimate with people we had no business being intimate with. I won’t use the other word for it haha.

So how are men any different?


We know what it feels like to have a personal agenda and be in a space where we enjoyed being single and was attracted to someone in the moment and ended up doing something for momentary pleasure. Unlike men, we usually regret it the next day but that’s the only difference. At least most of us anyway. So one of the ways we contribute to it is by entertaining the foolishness at some point in our life and then becoming tired of it so we blame it on men and forget the part that we play.

We feel like once we are ready to settle down, men should be falling to their knees for us. But the truth is, if there are women out there who are entertaining them in that way, there’s nothing you can do to change that. All you can do is NOT give in to it, hold yourself to a certain standard and make it clear that you’re not about that without coming off as the crazy girl who thinks she’s too good. No one likes that girl.

So now you’re out here dating, looking for a serious potential relationship and you’re upset that it seems like there’s no hope. And I get that, I’m blessed to have Dre and I know there aren’t a bunch of him walking around. I thought I would be single for a very long time after making my vow to God to abstain from sex.

So what do you do? How do you know when all a guy wants is sex? Well first, just assume that every man you come across wants to have sex with you. But you’re not special, they want to have sex with every other attractive girl they see. That’s usually where their brain goes when they see something they like. That’s where the courting comes into play, if we can even call it that nowadays. A man will do anything he can to get your attention, your time and your heart until they are ready to move on. It’s not their fault, they are just looking for something specific if they’re looking at all and until they find it, they won’t commit.

This is why dating intentionally is important. If you meet a guy in the club and hang out at his place after don’t act shocked when he tries to have sex. You put yourself in a situation that made him think that’s what you want. If you want to be treated like a lady, act like a lady. Men can totally tell the difference. If they like you, they will go through all types of hoops to show it.


Men love challenges. So just because you make someone wait a little bit doesn’t mean they will be the guy you want them to be. Once the challenge is over, the relationship could be over too. Men are simple like that. They know when they meet the one and you will definitely know when that happens too. You can tell by his actions.

Signs that all men want is sex is if they use sexual language, make sexual jokes, touch you intimately while in public, try to get you in intimate settings, only hit you up at night time or when they have nothing to do or are short in their conversations as if they are doing the bare minimum to keep you around.

If you’re experiencing any of these signs, deal with it head-on. Let his actions speak louder than his words. Don’t believe what he says if his actions don’t add up. Men will show you exactly who they are and unfortunately, we don’t always believe them. That’s what gets us in trouble. We see all the red flags but stay anyways. We keep thinking they will change or we are just so great that they don’t want to lose us and will get it together.

Don’t waste your time with a man who clearly only wants sex or isn’t willing to commit to you. Here are tips for dealing with those types of men.

Communicate honestly. Let it be known that your not that girl. Here is the most important part, you don’t have to communicate with words unless it gets to point where you have no choice. But let your actions speak. The way you carry yourself and the way you respond to him will communicate everything. Men aren’t as dumb as they make themselves seem, they know what’s up.

Don’t give second chances. If they show you who they are, believe them. No man will change just because you want him to. He has to be in a place where he is wanting to find the right person and settle down on his own.

I have had my share of men who I committed to even though it was clear that they weren’t ready for what I wanted. I thought if I put in the time, they would fall in love with me and change. And as you can see, none of those men worked out. It’s the nature of the game.


Have you ever dated someone and less than a year after breaking up with them you see they got engaged? It sucks right? You think what was wrong with me? And the answer is nothing! Sometimes we are the woman who prepares the guy for the next woman. And that’s okay. It’s all about timing. If you focus on learning lessons from your dating experiences and past relationships, you will prepare yourself for the right man too.

So in conclusion, if you’re looking for a men who wants more than sex from you, be intentional. Pay attention to where and how you met them. Pay closer attention to their actions and believe them for what they are. Be mindful of what you’re doing to give the impression that you’re that girl. Carry yourself in a way that let’s him know your worth. Let him know if he wants you in that way, he has to put in the time and commit to you first.

I hope this post helped shed light on the sex problem. Check out our YouTube video “You can’t change him, when to leave a relationship”.


Thanks so much for reading and until next time, be shameless.

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