Q&A: Ask Me Anything
How do you manage your energy?
This is kind of a three step process.
1. I prioritize
My priorities change depending on where I am in life. Right now my priorities are Dre, working out and my businesses. Obviously my friends and family are important as well, they just aren’t my main priorities when it comes to structuring my time and energy each day. Everyday I make sure that I am focusing on the goals I have for my health and businesses and I make sure to spend quality time with Dre and my loved ones where it makes sense. Having a clear understanding of what my priorities are in each season of my life is important.
2. I plan
Once my priorities are clear, I plan. I plan yearly, monthly, weekly and daily. For the year, I plan by month. I set specific goals to reach by a specific time in the year and create a plan to achieve it. For the month, I look at my calendar and map out how I’m going to accomplish certain things by the end of the month. I create deadlines and I stick to them. For the week, I’m putting my energy into the specific things that need to be done in order to stay on track with my monthly goal. Daily, I’m attacking at least 3 things on my to-do list and as long as I get those things done, I feel good. If I feel extra motivated, I allow myself to work on extra things or begin to tackle things from tomorrow’s to-do list. Just depends how I’m feeling.
3. I give myself grace when needed
I understand that I’m human. I will fall short, have bad days and simply not feel like putting in the energy at times. That’s okay! I became my own boss to be able to have the freedom to do just that. If I fall short and miss deadlines, I re-strategize and keep pushing.
Should christians listen to ratchet music? I’m a christian but I love Cardi B.
This is funny! What you listen to doesn’t determine your religious beliefs. It may not align with your beliefs which is something that you personally have to decide if it’s a problem but hunny if you like Cardi B, like Cardi B. Be understanding that if people especially older people, look at you a little funny and judge you based on what you listen its because the older generation has a different outlook on religion. But at the end of the day, yes! You can be ratchet and still be christian. I think the issue comes when you align yourself with a standard of living and don’t reflect it in your day to day life. I don’t think it’s wise to have your children listening to that kind of music because of the message it portrays but the sad fact of reality is that a lot of rap and hip hop music is not the nicest. But there’s no problem with you liking the music you like. I do think there’s a time and place for it though. Don’t be walking into church blasting your Cardi B starting trouble haha. As millenials, we are definitely switching up the boundaries of what being Christian actually looks like. We know that going to church every Sunday doesn't qualify you as a Christian if Monday-Saturday you are a bad person. So just be true to yourself people will judge you regardless but the bible says only God can judge so if someone judging you by the music you listen to, they aren’t very Christian like themselves. Live yo life boo!
When is the wedding and will you be recording it and putting it on youtube?
The wedding is May 6th-11th in the Dominican Republic. The actual ceremony is on Friday May 8th. We have 2 awesome videographers who will be capturing the whole wedding week and we will definitely post to our YouTube.
How do you stay consistent with planning and creating content when you don’t feel like it?
I get this question a lot! Funny thing is, I NEVER feel like creating content. I love planning but I hate the creating part. I personally only create content every 3 months. Now that I’ve been accepting influencer gigs, I have had to create content more often but it’s easier to do when you’re getting paid for it. About every 3 months, I grab a bunch of outfits and pre-create content that I know will resonate with my followers. I then plan the content out using one of my favorite apps UNUM. I’m not at all consistent with posting which is why I automate my posts using Later.com. This way, no matter what’s going on in my life, my social media stays consistent and I’m intentionally showing up for the people who look for me to encourage and inspire them.
What does waiting for marriage look like when you live together?
Dre and I have boundaries. The boundaries are the same as they were when we weren’t living together. We don’t French kiss, touch each others private areas or take showers together. Other than that, we are a regular couple who just isn’t having sex. We sleep in the same bed, we see each other naked and we show affection without having sex of any kind. I get asked this question a lot and one thing that I think is really important to mention is that boundaries is the key to waiting but the boundaries will look different for each couple. If you can’t lay next to a man without having sex, you shouldn’t live with them or your goal is to wait. Create boundaries that make sense for you.
What have you done that has made you the proudest?
Ummmm, I would say dropping out of college. I’m not proud of the actual act of quitting school, I’m proud of the confidence I had in myself to believe I could accomplish whatever I put my mind to. Dropping out of college put me in a position to really go after my dream. There was no plan B. It gave me the push I needed to get myself to where I am now.
If you could tell your younger self anything, what would it be?
Oh, this one is easy! I would tell myself to be more financially aware and DO NOT take out loans. The amount of debt I’ve had to pay off is ridiculous. I wasn’t fully aware of how loans work and I will not allow my children to make that same mistake. I grew up in a family where I was the first generation college student and I know my mom did her best and was just trying to make things easier for me but taking out loans, especially when I had scholarships was a really bad idea and I ended up paying for it in the long run.
One thing that Dre says all the time is that life isn’t actually short. People say live life to the fullest because it’s short but that doesn’t mean to make financial decisions that you will spend your life paying for. For example, when you take out student loans, they almost double from interest rates by the time you start to pay them off so you’re basically throwing away your hard earned money.
My advice to you is to check out Dave Ramsys, “Financial Peace University” It’s a great online program and work book that you can complete with your family, spouse or by yourself that teaches you how to live a life that’s debt free allowing you to have financial freedom to live how you want and enjoy your life without barely getting by month to month.
How do you handle personal insecurities and not make your mate feel overwhelmed?
This is tough. Dre and I actually had some issues with this. When I was my heaviest and trying to get back into the gym, I complained a lot. Not just about my weight but about food. It got to the point where he had to keep his bread in his car because I was so insecure with my body that I wouldn’t even let the man properly store his bread haha. I always compared us and complained about how hard it is to be a woman. He ended up sitting me down and had a heart to heart. He helped me see that the complaining wasn’t making anything better. We came up with solutions to the problem and together, we got to the point where I felt good about my weight loss journey and he was able to properly support me through it. So if you have insecurities, be open and honest with your mate so that they are first aware and secondly in a position to help support you through it.
Being a curvy woman, what advice do you have for embracing body confidence?
This is a great question! Let me be perfectly clear ya'll, I was NOT confident in my body. I was always comparing myself to what I saw on TV, magazines and social media to the point where I was sick of it. I realized I was born with the body I have and I have to learn to be comfortable and confident in it. This is why I started my Shameless business. When I was dancing for the NBA, I was the smallest I’ve ever been, literally in the best shape of my life. But nothing was good enough for them. I was constantly asked to be smaller, lose more weight, diet more and so on. It really messed with my confidence. When I quit the team, I quickly reverted back to my old ways and of course gained all my weight back. I went from 123 pounds to over 160 in less than 3 months so imagine my lack of confidence then! But oddly, I started to appreciate my body. I would look in the mirror and think, hmmmm. I can get with this curvy look haha.
I’m not sure if it was just me maturing as a woman and naturally appreciating my body or if it was my business that helped me be more confident. I was literally promoting and supporting other women to love themselves and I know it rubbed off on me. I would remember telling myself, you’re no different than the other woman you tell to love themselves, so get to loving girl! I also determined what things made me feel better. For example, I love having curves but was self conscious about the cellulite in my legs. I got in the gym and in 5 months I was able to tone up my legs. They are still thick, but toned to the point where I’m no longer self conscious of them.
I also realized I wanted a tighter and thinner stomach. That comes with major sacrifices. I knew I would either need to just love myself as is and continue doing what I’m doing or I would have to make a lifestyle change. Abs are really built in the kitchen, it’s no joke. I started eating healthier and putting things in my body that matched the results I wanted. I cut out bread and bad carbs and replaced them with veggies and healthy fats instead.
Since making the change, I’ve never gone back. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had cheat days and you know when you go out of town our meals are never as healthy but I always got back on track. So I know that my confidence with my body came from a self love that I established with myself. I vowed to love my body no matter what but to also put in the work and love myself enough to make changes where I saw fit.
So right now, if you want to make a change. Start with small baby steps and work your way up. And if you need to love yourself a little more, it’s going to take daily practice and you making a choice to just simply say, “hey! I’m beautiful”.
How did you become an influencer?
This definitely happened by accident. It was never my goal to become an influencer, it just kind of happened. Because I have a lot of followers, I’m obviously qualified but becoming an influencer is about a lot more than just followers. Brands look to partner with people who have active pages, quality content and high engagement. So if you’re looking to become an influencer, I suggest focusing on building your following and engagement but also creating high quality content that showcases your abilities. If you need help, we have an online course that teaches you the exact formula I used and currently use to grow my following as well as all of our clients followings. Go to allaboutituniversity.com.
I hope you enjoyed this post! If you have questions comment below and let me know!
Thanks for reading. Until next time beautiful ladies, be shameless.